A life without inner friction: from possibility to reality.
Why is being yourself so important?
I believe people are the happiest and most effective when they can be themselves
If a person is not allowed to be themselves for any reason, I often sense an energy block. They experience an inner conflict of what they should do vs. what they actually want to do. It’s an enormous elephant in the room, but most people are not aware of it, or they simply think, “that’s normal and I can do nothing about it”.
In that situation, most of us ended up taking half-hearted action on the should-dos, or even worse, nothing gets done and all the great possibilities are gone.
Another word for being yourself is authenticity. Being authentic is necessary for genuine connections. It is what allows each of us to be human and have some flaws!
Being yourself when you are alone means you do what you truly enjoy and think is important.
Being yourself when you are with others means you feel completely safe expressing your personal values in your words and actions.
Being yourself unlocks the potential within you and people around you
There’s a famous equation: Performance = Potential - interference
When you remove the interference, allowing yourself to be yourself, there is zero interference, then your potential is fully expressed. On this basis, true learning and wisdom will come.
When you are yourself, actions are effortless, growth is a natural phenomenon.
How does a coach come in?
“You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.” — Galileo
And I know you will find what you need. As a coach, my role is your thinking partner, helping to explore your unique treasures from your past experiences and inspiring dreams.
I am a happiness coach, for all our conversation, in the end, is to see the joy that’s already there within you.
I am a perspective coach, for all our conversations will be an exploration of seeing and experiencing the wisdom that’s already there within you.
I am a performance coach, for all our conversations will bring new awareness in the inner experience, leading to natural shifts in behavior and outcome.
I take the stance that life is here for you to enjoy. So if you hire a coach, the only thing that must be guaranteed is a more enjoyable life! (Of course, this only works if you also want it)
The most important feeling you can have in your life is knowing that you can be yourself. You are totally accepted and loved no matter the circumstances. It takes courage to see that and live in such a way continuously. And this courage doesn’t only serve you, it will benefit for the many around you.
16 Questions I ask to help myself be myself
The topics relate to being yourself are vast. Here I list a couple of keywords based on my own learnings. Be aware it’s a long list coming from my point of view! It serves as a stimulus to poke into your wisdom and your experience.
- Self-love — If I can love the people who are important to me unconditionally, can I do the same for myself?
- Self-acceptance — If I can see that perfection is only a game of man-made standards, and appreciate myself as an interesting piece of life with endless possibilities. Would I let myself off the self-judgment hook?
- Authenticity — If I have experienced people in my life who can show up as themselves and brighten up my day. Am I inspired to do the same for others?
- Vulnerability — If I see that being vulnerable is the true assurance deep inside of me saying “I’ll be fine no matter what”, do I have the courage to show my true self to others?
- Courage — If I have gathered enough courage to look for ways to live a fulfilling life, can I gather enough to be myself?
- Self-compassion — If I realize there’s always a positive intent behind people’s seemingly negative behaviors, can I see my deep kindness and go from there?
- Surrender — If I see that eventually, I have no control over what may happen in the very next moment, can I let go of the need to control, and just enjoy what is there and what I am doing at this moment?
- Impermanence — If I see that everything is constantly changing, and my current state will soon be gone, will I take the time to fully experience it at this moment?
- Creation — If I see that every thought and action of mine is creating and strengthening neural pathways in my brain, will I take that responsibility and lean towards what I really want?
- Purpose — If I see that all actions human take is for a purpose, explicit or implicit, will I be curious to find my empowering purpose for being myself?
- Meaning — If I see that the universe had no meaning before people invented the word “meaning”, what does it mean for me to “be myself”?
- Vision — If I see that everything in this world is first created in the mind, then brought into existence, what will I visualize for the ongoing evolution of being myself?
- Values — If I see that just like the physical laws of gravity, there are personal and social laws of human mechanisms that can make me either prosper or wither, what are the most helpful values for being myself?
- Self-esteem — If I see that committing to things that support my personal values boosts my self-esteem, will I make that the norm of being myself?
- Spontaneity — If I see that taking things too seriously tenses me up and tunnel my vision, will I allow myself to be playful, mindful, and relaxed so I am truly myself?
- Habit — If I see that I can rewrite my subconscious through conscious thoughts and their corresponding emotions, how do I want to create my habit of being myself?
- Change — If I see that changes are happening within me anyway consciously or unconsciously, will I see that change as a natural characteristic of myself and conduct it consciously?
What are your wisdom and questions that will help you be yourself?
The need to be better itself is a cause of misery
If we are operating from a place of scarcity, there will always be something lacking. If we are in pursuit of happiness, by default, we recognize it as something in the future. So, there’s often confusion that says something like this:
“If I accept myself, I won’t change. And if I keep changing, I am not accepting myself”
What a dilemma, right? But consider the truth that everything is always changing, including you and me. The question is, whether the change is conscious or unconscious, whether the direction is a personal choice or at random.
So accepting yourself is an act toward the present moment. And changing is for an inspiring future, not dissatisfaction with the now.
In other words,
You can love and accept who you are right now, yet want to change and see what happens next!
Here is a metaphor. In the middle of a movie, you can appreciate the story so much up to this very moment, and how beautiful the present shot is in your view, but you won’t freeze there. You still are excited to see what comes next.
And I believe you can do the same with your everyday life. Just be yourself!
If you’re interested in 1-on-1 coaching — email@example.com